Time Out

I've decided Pumpkin's temper tantrums are directly related to her sleep intake, no question about it.

Unfortunately, I can't make her sleep any more than she's willing, I can only produce a sleep friendly environment with good sleeping habbits and a relaxed bedtime routine. That, however, doesn't stop her from waking up 2 hours early sometimes and playing around in her crib until the sun finally rises. On those days, I'm left to deal with a tired little pistol who likes to have her way or the highway, manners out the window. I can hear her little "Humpf!" in my head right now even! And she's just like the old rhyme: 'when she was good (aka. rested), she was very very good and when she was bad (tired), she was awful!' I hate putting her there, but it seems like discipline is a fact of life. I do the supernanny approach: one warning, second offense leads straight to a time-out for one minute each year of age. Plus the whole approach and explanation that follows. It hasn't been until more recently the time-outs increased from 1 or 2 on her rough/tired days to 4 or 5.

Apparently, Pumpkin's had her fill of time-outs too.

She ran up to me holding her penguin, Osbert, and showed me his previously sewn-on wing that was now free-floating b/c she convinced herself that no, penguins could fly AND swim, which led to our first "mommy discipline" impersonation. I told her I would sew it back on that night, but two seconds later, here's where he landed -still not flying because his wing was allegedly "broken": the time out step.

She was so good at the technique! My li'l mommy got down to his beak-level and explained the alleged offense (flapping too hard) and that it was "unaseptable."

And now showing him how many minutes he'll be spending in the time out (5).

Next, she checked on him and reminded him he needs to "fink about fings an sit quietly pweeze."

And the grand finale: back on beak-level again, explainging that flapping too hard is not acceptable and asking for an apology and a hug -I was so proud!

Pumpkin turned right around and looked at me to reassure her she'd done everything right and waited for my reaction to how proud I was of her for disciplining poor Osbert. (Now, to only explain that breaking his wing wasn't his fault since she'd done it to him...) She schlepped him around for most of the rest of the night and reluctantly handed him over in bed so I could fix him and make him all better for the morning! I had my work cut out for me. Thank God I had navy thread!

Night, night. Sleep tight, little Pumpkin!

After years of falling asleep with daddy in the rocking chair, then strategically being placed into bed, I bit the bullet and did it my way. It was a long, exhausting day yesterday with no break whatsoever to go to the gym and get my daily angst out, so needless to say I was ready for bed light years before Pumpkin was. Her sleep schedule's been off for about 7 months now, shifted to a 2nd shift schedule. She absolutely refuses to fall asleep before 1am and wakes around 9:45 every morning. I'm so exhuasted, I don't even notice we've both slept in tragically late, and when I do, I just let her sleep anyways b/c she's sooooo tired! We've been to a sleep specialist about it who recommends putting her to bed in increments of 15 min. earlier each night, which only works up to a point w/ Pumpkin, but the lights out process will last sometimes 2 hours before she finally passes out. I swear, as soon as she turned 2, it all went haywire. She used to be so....good at sleeping, and I was on top of her sleep schedule like a Mama Bear: didn't mess with it, wouldn't let anyone interrupt it just to see her. It ruled our household and everyone was happy, but the day Pumpkin decided she'd had enough of mommy and refused to fall asleep unless daddy's there, the battle began. Needless to say, I had a challenge lying ahead these last few days.

I invested in a couple of 'nigh nigh' friends: Ty Pluffies "Kissers" and "Dreamers." My sister found them at some candy store near her house and since I can't find them anywhere, she picked them up for me...they were supposed to arrive for V-day, but didn't, and it couldn't have worked out better! I got them when Sean started getting ill, so I threw them into the wash and dryer, poof! -ready for bed! Pumpkin always asks me where things came from and also who they are from lately, so I told her the Sand Man gave them to mommy to give to Pumpkin so she can hold on tight to them and fall asleep. If Pumpkin got nervous, "Kissers" would comfort her, and if she couldn't sleep, "Dreamers" would help her give her good seepy time. It worked like a stinkin' charm! I've always been honest about where stuff comes from, so she totally bought the Sand Man story.

Last night was the big night. We read stories, I cuddled her for a couple of minutes and gave her the daily Pumpkin-affirmations (I look right into her eyes, rub her cheek and tell her "You are very important. You are so special to Mommy. Nothing you could ever do will change how much Mommy and Daddy love you. I am so proud of you because you are you! You are so smart and such a pretty girl! You are very good at sharing and my very favorite helper, Pumpkin. I love you best." in that order every naptime and bedtime since she was 5 months old) and for the first time, instead of watching my beauty drift off to sleep in my arms, I tucked her into bed, pulled out the stool she uses to stand on to wash her hands in the sink, and sat facing away from her while she figured out sleeping on her own. Man, was that hard! I'm absolutely against crying it out b/c she always threw up so easily that it was near impossible trying to make her fall asleep on her own without having to clean up vomit off of everything in the crib, Pumpkin herself and the surrounding carpeted area. Hence the years it took us before I tried this, and she didn't even shed a tear! What a good girl!

She fidgeted, but wasn't too disorganized. Pumpkin scooted herself as close to me as she could in her bed, and after a while, I was worried she wasn't sleeping b/c her air purifier fan can be a bit cool at times, so I put her big cotton blanket on her. That's when she siezed her chance and grabbed my hand with her little ones and cuddled it against her soft cheek. After a while, she held on tight to my first finger just like we do when we hold hands and walk together. I had a moment of weakness and let her hold on for a few minutes even though that's not really part of the separation technique. When she started to fall asleep, I pulled my finger out slowly, which obviously woke her up even more and she went grabbing for it with both hands again! I knew this would continue and if my back didn't give out from bending over her crib so long, my calves would from the burning! That's when I made my move. I searched for "Kissers" who'd slid down, and put her hand around his soft, squishy neck and held mine on top of hers. Then I grabbed "Dreamers" and wrapped her little arm around his neck and held my other hand on top of her other hand as well. I whispered, "Baby, Mama's right over here and your new special friends will keep you safe while you go seepies."

20 more minutes go by, no fidgeting sounds. By now, I'm on the floor about to sleep myself. I got up and checked on Pumpkin as she lay sleeping exactly like I left her, new snuggle buddies on either side of her sweet little face. I'm sad to let go of the rocking her to sleep, even though it was challenging as she got older b/c of her airway issues, GI complications, and disruptive sleep disorder on top of other sensory complications like the oral aversion and mild sensory disorder. I've found if I tuck her in tight, she prefers it that way and will stir less even though she always seems to wiggle free. I mostly miss holding her and looking at her beautiful face while she sleeps. There's just this love affair with firstborns that I'm not sure can be rivaled by the 2nd or 3rd child...I'm not about to find out since I've been through enough w/ Pumpkin, but I can't imagine spending as much time with another child as I have with her as my only. She was a bit more huggy and cuddly today, I'm guessing since we didn't get to do a whole lot of that at nighttime or naptime this afternoon either with the new sleep technique. I made sure never to pull away from her hug first and always let her hold on as much as she wants to whenever she wants to. Night, night, sleep tight little Pumpkin! Mommy misses you already.

Massive Peanut Butter Recall

According to the Associated Press,

"The voluntary recall (of Little Debbie products) came one day after the government advised consumers to avoid eating cookies, cakes, ice cream and other foods with peanut butter until health officials learn more about the contamination."

Ummm, welcome to my world, everyone! This recent outbreak has killed 6 people already and sickened hundreds more, and I doubt the salmonella will be selective to just PB products. I wonder if foods that were cross contaminated with the contaminated peanut products are at risk as well...hmmm. I wonder if they're holding off on recalling foods that don't necessarily have peanut butter in them, but have been processed/exposed to the deadly peanut product because that would mean nearly every single snack, cereal, and cookie item produced by most major food manufacturers. I guess this is my silver lining, huh, God? Well, I'll take it and pray for those who don't live peanut free. What a scary thing?! And a fair eye-opener that the FDA's been having issues managing food related poisoning because the recall from Little Debbie was, as always, voluntary and a day behind the government's food avoidance recommendation. Why do they keep saying "voluntary recall"? The FDA doesn't mandate recalls. I hope parents that normally don't pay too much attention to the news will do so with this nationally life-threatening peanut poisoning. If Barack Obama's worried about creating sustainable, long-term jobs that don't involve manual labor, he could add much needed headcount within the USDA, FDA, and consumer product safety commission to help Americans avoid these kinds of catastrophes.

I swear, I NEVER thought my baby's peanut-allergy could save her life! What a blessing in disguise!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/salmonella_outbreak

Quick Pumpkin Update

Pumpkin keeps waking up and asking if it's Christmas Day yet. Even after naps, she'll wake up and ask this. She was asking me about Santa the other day, and I was trying to explain to her what "old" meant, so I told her he was "old like Grandpa". Ofcoarse, her next question was, "Oh! Does Grandpa know Santa?!" I told her that I didn't know, but that we should call him and ask him. It was the cutest offense he's taken to his age. She's nearly fully potty trained now, which is heaven sent, and I'm not about to start on round 2 of 10,000+ diaper changes anytime soon! I'm still way too interested in poops as it is. I'm also starting to see some semblance of my former life...not having to carry her around on my hip all the time or constantly follow her while she's walking for fear she'll faceplant into a corner of the wall or table leg or something. She's very interested in trucks and tools and tractors, things I thought I'd enjoy w/ a boy if I had one, but my little Princess prefers to quickly cram the pacifier into her baby doll's mouth in order to shut it up so she can continue playing with her toy pliers and wrench "fixing" her tractor's tire instead. Not what I had in mind for my little girl. I support it b/c I swore I wouldn't gender segregate toys or interests, but I'm worried I may have pushed the typically 'boy toys' a little more in order to avoid that trap. Pumpkin's got big plans already -she tells mommy she wants to be a "vedder narian" when she grows up. She checks her stuffed dogs' heartbeats w/ her stethoscope and is very gentle w/ them before whipping them across the room to fly like birds, she says. I don't mind. I thought boys had vaginas until I was 9, so who am I to judge? There's a new show she loves called 'Sid the Science Kid,' and told me after I tried to catch handfuls of ice falling from the ice bin in our freezer, "Don't worry Mommy, it's reversible change." That's when I nearly crapped my pants and decided maybe not all TV is bad.

Do This in Remembrance of Me

I took Pumpkin to the doc again yesterday -3rd time in 2 weeks...turns out she's having some "lady problems"...um, did you know there was such a thing as a pediatric gynie? Takes all kinds I guess. Usually on the way home I'll offer her a small snack since the wait there can take hours or even days it seems like, and yes, I brought my own clorox wipes to clean off the bench in the exam room. Listening to Christian music on the way home, she pipes up, "Mommy this song is about Jesus!" I was startled that she could articulate the words in the song well enough to decipher them. She continued: "Jesus is in my Bible," -referring to the kids' one my mother bought her for her birthday last month including a nativity scene picture and another pic of the last supper. "That's right, Pumpkin! You're so smart!" She gave me a big grin, held up her Cheez-it and said, " I wanna eat this for Jesus. Just like Jesus at suppertime!" Quickly, I realized she wanted to administer her first communion to herself -she's definitely inherited my mom's crazy church lady genes. I grinned and conceded, "You're exactly right, Baby Doll!" quickly followed by fervent prayers that she will never go to another continent and get caught up in crazy civil wars or bacteria laden rainforest jungles. Pumpkin took a chomp and began chewing and nodding her head in time with the music. Dear God, please keep her 3 forever.

I dropped her off at home to take a good sits bath with Daddy, and headed to Target to pick up the over-the-counter remedies her doc suggested...back to reality. Ugh. Walking in the store, a flurry of Christmas shoppers greeted me. Super. More people hacking up a lung to dodge and scoot past. I'm in a rush, people! Move it along! Gum, got it. Vasaline, got it. Q-tips on sale -sweet, got those. Hand sanitizer, never miss it. Can't find the stuff the doc suggested...great. Up and down, up and down slower, up and down -do they even carry this? Up and down once more before I head to the pharmacy counter. No one around, only one person in front of me...great. She's got more questions?!?! They explain everything ad nauseum at the docs office, lady. Get a tape recorder!! FINALLY my turn comes up, and by now I have an audience behind me waiting for help too. Ofcoarse, they don't have a sign showing people where to wait at this wonderful establishment so strangers can observe some form of privacy in the cramped counter/aisle space. Embarrassed and in a low voice, I squeek out, "Do you carry preparation-h wipes?" quickly followed by "They're for my daughter." And what does the pharmacist ask me??? "Oh, how old is she?" Does it even matter? Does it? If her doc recommends them at the ripe old age of toddler, what safety concerns could there be? I refused to verbally answer the question, so I just showed her 3 fingers low and way the heck in front of me, hoping no one behind me will not only think I have hemorrhoidal problems, but that I'm also trying to lie and place blame on my toddler for it to save face! By now I can feel my ears turning red. She shows me where the wipes are, and then starts pushing the generics on me, comparing any differing amounts of witch hazel and price, as though I needed help. Ofcoarse, the wipes were at the end of an aisle right near the pharmacy counter. I had all eyes from the line I'd finally left following me scrupulously. My solution was clear: I grabbed the branded, thanked the pharmacist (for branding me 'the hemorrhoidal liar') and got the heck outta there. Another awesome day in the life. So I took one for the team, that's what moms do, right? Well, I think I just earned my badge. On the way home, I contemplated how often my hubby's taken one for the team like that. I felt much better after assigning him tampon duty for the next 5 years -if ever I'm out, go get 'em, and just them huney. Done and done.

Parental Pet Peeves

I've developed some parental pet peeves that have stemmed from a general lack of civility when these savages take their kids out in public as though it were their world to have.

I loathe parents that:
-let their sick kid cough all over the books and toys at the dr.'s office and run around, touching everything; that's just poor, thoughtless parenting
-don't tell their kids to cover their cough/sneeze
-look at their kids licking the handle on the grocery cart and don't say ANYTHING!
-put only a sweatshirt, no mittens, no shoes on their baby when they're out in 30 degree weather
-don't wipe the snot running from their kid's nose all the way to their top lip, yuck!
-ignore their screaming kid in the grocery cart who's begging to be held
-let their kids sneeze in their hands, then open up and grab all the candy in the clear plastic bins that they can hold in their grubby little hands, take a lick even sometimes!, then put it all back and move on to the next one
-need a leash to keep their kids out of grocery cart traffic in the narrow, busy aisles...if your kids gonna just stand there while 2 and three carts line up while waiting for the kid to finally move, then don't bring them during busy store hours, it's that easy!!

Takes One to Know One

Ever get the feeling that whatever words are coming out of your mouth have recently become "white noise" for the listener? People w/out allergies don't act totally annoyed when I mention it off handedly, they just tune me out, turn me off. No, it's not all I talk about and yes, nut allergies do exist outside of my imagination. Nobody really wants to talk about them unless they have 'em. And its seems that no matter how common food allergies in general have become, they're not common enough to keep my friends that don't have them as friends still. I remember an old friend that finally had her first baby who had some mild GERD. Even though this friend was pretty aware that my Pumpkin's GERD was so severe, she required a feeding tube for months and surgery, etc., all this friend could think of when her baby was prescribed Zantac was...'oh yeah, I think leah mentioned something about this...'. Ummm, hello? Were you even listening? It's kind of a big deal when you spend weeks in the hospital with a new baby. Does anyone listen any more or give a crap about stuff outside of their little world? I mean, really give a crap? I'm almost scared to ever bring up these things that are such a big part of my life for fear that I might lose another friend. Now, I rarely talk about them anymore, and feel almost bad for bringing them up b/c I know it doesn't directly involve the other person...um, rediculous, but true. When did we become an "all about me" America? Even parents who tote their babies & young children around at Target around 9/10 o'clock at night, same deal...yeah, this may be a good time in your schedule to do some shopping, but your kids belong in bed!! Hello?!

Recently, I've rediscovered the joy of new friendships w/ old friends I've held at arms length for one reason or another. We're more similar than I first recognized, which may've been why we didn't quite 'click' before. It's really a breath of fresh air and support, and I'm glad for the revisited friendships that were almost never were, but I wonder if the friendships I used to value were ever really friendships at all...why didn't I see this before?