Quick Pumpkin Update

Pumpkin keeps waking up and asking if it's Christmas Day yet. Even after naps, she'll wake up and ask this. She was asking me about Santa the other day, and I was trying to explain to her what "old" meant, so I told her he was "old like Grandpa". Ofcoarse, her next question was, "Oh! Does Grandpa know Santa?!" I told her that I didn't know, but that we should call him and ask him. It was the cutest offense he's taken to his age. She's nearly fully potty trained now, which is heaven sent, and I'm not about to start on round 2 of 10,000+ diaper changes anytime soon! I'm still way too interested in poops as it is. I'm also starting to see some semblance of my former life...not having to carry her around on my hip all the time or constantly follow her while she's walking for fear she'll faceplant into a corner of the wall or table leg or something. She's very interested in trucks and tools and tractors, things I thought I'd enjoy w/ a boy if I had one, but my little Princess prefers to quickly cram the pacifier into her baby doll's mouth in order to shut it up so she can continue playing with her toy pliers and wrench "fixing" her tractor's tire instead. Not what I had in mind for my little girl. I support it b/c I swore I wouldn't gender segregate toys or interests, but I'm worried I may have pushed the typically 'boy toys' a little more in order to avoid that trap. Pumpkin's got big plans already -she tells mommy she wants to be a "vedder narian" when she grows up. She checks her stuffed dogs' heartbeats w/ her stethoscope and is very gentle w/ them before whipping them across the room to fly like birds, she says. I don't mind. I thought boys had vaginas until I was 9, so who am I to judge? There's a new show she loves called 'Sid the Science Kid,' and told me after I tried to catch handfuls of ice falling from the ice bin in our freezer, "Don't worry Mommy, it's reversible change." That's when I nearly crapped my pants and decided maybe not all TV is bad.

Do This in Remembrance of Me

I took Pumpkin to the doc again yesterday -3rd time in 2 weeks...turns out she's having some "lady problems"...um, did you know there was such a thing as a pediatric gynie? Takes all kinds I guess. Usually on the way home I'll offer her a small snack since the wait there can take hours or even days it seems like, and yes, I brought my own clorox wipes to clean off the bench in the exam room. Listening to Christian music on the way home, she pipes up, "Mommy this song is about Jesus!" I was startled that she could articulate the words in the song well enough to decipher them. She continued: "Jesus is in my Bible," -referring to the kids' one my mother bought her for her birthday last month including a nativity scene picture and another pic of the last supper. "That's right, Pumpkin! You're so smart!" She gave me a big grin, held up her Cheez-it and said, " I wanna eat this for Jesus. Just like Jesus at suppertime!" Quickly, I realized she wanted to administer her first communion to herself -she's definitely inherited my mom's crazy church lady genes. I grinned and conceded, "You're exactly right, Baby Doll!" quickly followed by fervent prayers that she will never go to another continent and get caught up in crazy civil wars or bacteria laden rainforest jungles. Pumpkin took a chomp and began chewing and nodding her head in time with the music. Dear God, please keep her 3 forever.

I dropped her off at home to take a good sits bath with Daddy, and headed to Target to pick up the over-the-counter remedies her doc suggested...back to reality. Ugh. Walking in the store, a flurry of Christmas shoppers greeted me. Super. More people hacking up a lung to dodge and scoot past. I'm in a rush, people! Move it along! Gum, got it. Vasaline, got it. Q-tips on sale -sweet, got those. Hand sanitizer, never miss it. Can't find the stuff the doc suggested...great. Up and down, up and down slower, up and down -do they even carry this? Up and down once more before I head to the pharmacy counter. No one around, only one person in front of me...great. She's got more questions?!?! They explain everything ad nauseum at the docs office, lady. Get a tape recorder!! FINALLY my turn comes up, and by now I have an audience behind me waiting for help too. Ofcoarse, they don't have a sign showing people where to wait at this wonderful establishment so strangers can observe some form of privacy in the cramped counter/aisle space. Embarrassed and in a low voice, I squeek out, "Do you carry preparation-h wipes?" quickly followed by "They're for my daughter." And what does the pharmacist ask me??? "Oh, how old is she?" Does it even matter? Does it? If her doc recommends them at the ripe old age of toddler, what safety concerns could there be? I refused to verbally answer the question, so I just showed her 3 fingers low and way the heck in front of me, hoping no one behind me will not only think I have hemorrhoidal problems, but that I'm also trying to lie and place blame on my toddler for it to save face! By now I can feel my ears turning red. She shows me where the wipes are, and then starts pushing the generics on me, comparing any differing amounts of witch hazel and price, as though I needed help. Ofcoarse, the wipes were at the end of an aisle right near the pharmacy counter. I had all eyes from the line I'd finally left following me scrupulously. My solution was clear: I grabbed the branded, thanked the pharmacist (for branding me 'the hemorrhoidal liar') and got the heck outta there. Another awesome day in the life. So I took one for the team, that's what moms do, right? Well, I think I just earned my badge. On the way home, I contemplated how often my hubby's taken one for the team like that. I felt much better after assigning him tampon duty for the next 5 years -if ever I'm out, go get 'em, and just them huney. Done and done.

Parental Pet Peeves

I've developed some parental pet peeves that have stemmed from a general lack of civility when these savages take their kids out in public as though it were their world to have.

I loathe parents that:
-let their sick kid cough all over the books and toys at the dr.'s office and run around, touching everything; that's just poor, thoughtless parenting
-don't tell their kids to cover their cough/sneeze
-look at their kids licking the handle on the grocery cart and don't say ANYTHING!
-put only a sweatshirt, no mittens, no shoes on their baby when they're out in 30 degree weather
-don't wipe the snot running from their kid's nose all the way to their top lip, yuck!
-ignore their screaming kid in the grocery cart who's begging to be held
-let their kids sneeze in their hands, then open up and grab all the candy in the clear plastic bins that they can hold in their grubby little hands, take a lick even sometimes!, then put it all back and move on to the next one
-need a leash to keep their kids out of grocery cart traffic in the narrow, busy aisles...if your kids gonna just stand there while 2 and three carts line up while waiting for the kid to finally move, then don't bring them during busy store hours, it's that easy!!

Takes One to Know One

Ever get the feeling that whatever words are coming out of your mouth have recently become "white noise" for the listener? People w/out allergies don't act totally annoyed when I mention it off handedly, they just tune me out, turn me off. No, it's not all I talk about and yes, nut allergies do exist outside of my imagination. Nobody really wants to talk about them unless they have 'em. And its seems that no matter how common food allergies in general have become, they're not common enough to keep my friends that don't have them as friends still. I remember an old friend that finally had her first baby who had some mild GERD. Even though this friend was pretty aware that my Pumpkin's GERD was so severe, she required a feeding tube for months and surgery, etc., all this friend could think of when her baby was prescribed Zantac was...'oh yeah, I think leah mentioned something about this...'. Ummm, hello? Were you even listening? It's kind of a big deal when you spend weeks in the hospital with a new baby. Does anyone listen any more or give a crap about stuff outside of their little world? I mean, really give a crap? I'm almost scared to ever bring up these things that are such a big part of my life for fear that I might lose another friend. Now, I rarely talk about them anymore, and feel almost bad for bringing them up b/c I know it doesn't directly involve the other person...um, rediculous, but true. When did we become an "all about me" America? Even parents who tote their babies & young children around at Target around 9/10 o'clock at night, same deal...yeah, this may be a good time in your schedule to do some shopping, but your kids belong in bed!! Hello?!

Recently, I've rediscovered the joy of new friendships w/ old friends I've held at arms length for one reason or another. We're more similar than I first recognized, which may've been why we didn't quite 'click' before. It's really a breath of fresh air and support, and I'm glad for the revisited friendships that were almost never were, but I wonder if the friendships I used to value were ever really friendships at all...why didn't I see this before?

Flying Solo for Thanksgiving

Well, it's mano a turkey breast for our familia this Thanksgiving...God help us all. I can bake frozen pizza (which comes out marginal at times, depending on when I remember to set the timer) and boil Sponge Bob macaroni on occasion, but raw frozen poultry? It's like asking my 3 year old to conjugate verbs in subjunctive form. I'll probably bake it to hell in order to avoid avian flu transmission, which will then require a full beverage to complete the actual ingestion process b/c it'll be too stinking dry. Bah. Well, there's always the Tombstone...I bought an extra this week just in case!

For the last 26 years, I've attended my grandparent's house for Thanksgiving, but upon discovering Pumpkin's nut allergy this past summer, I asked if they'd be willing to go nut-free this holiday so that we could attend. Unfortunately, that means not just no nuts, but also nothing that has been cross-contaminated w/ nuts...for everyone b/c she can go into anaphylactic shock if someone eats freshly baked rolls or cookies or chocolate or holiday pie, and then touches her, even though the food doesn't directly contain nuts and Pumpkin wasn't the one eating them. The restrictions are crazy, and there's no shot or cure for it, just "strict avoidance." Grandpa said they like their pumpkin pie (more than my Pumpkin, apparently) and hoped they'd see me at Christmas...as though it was my choice! Tough call...my child's life or dessert? Hmmm.... he then continued saying "You know what I think? I think this whole 'allergy thing' is a bit overdone." Then daylight began to glimmer. I reminded him that my dad (his son) has a severe allergy to penicillin. He was there when my dad almost died from taking it once and I asked him: what if his severe allergy wasn't to penecillin, but to nuts and anything that may have come in contact with it, including other foods or even people; what if my dad could die if any of that simply touched him? Well, that kept a lid on it, but it didn't solve much. He's not willing to give up his nuts so we can't visit them, and we live more than an hour away -a distance too far for either of them to drive. I'm asking the masses: any suggestions?

Whole Foods Fiasco!

I went to Organic Heaven...er, Whole Foods, today to purchase some fresh produce and noticed their potatos and yams are perched atop open, mesh bags of varieties of nuts! NUTS!!! I looked down and noticed remnants of the nutshells amidst onion peel and broccoli florets before I drew the line. Big cross contamination no-no. After paying for nut free snack bars (only 2 of the entire 3 that store carries), I bumped into the food allergist specialist there, Bonnie, who goes around with all the customers that have special food needs and shows them which items in the store are labeled without that allergen. I'd met her at a previous shopping visit there. Well, she asked how things were going, and I mentioned the bit about the nuts (that could easily kill my child), and she hurriedly took me over to produce and asked the guys to bring out boxes of the produce I wanted from the back so I could pick some out that haven't been put in the front of the store! How sweet! I also mentioned that the Chicago Trib. wrote an article blasting Whole Foods on their lack of attention to detail when it comes to nut contamination in their store brands 365 Organic Everyday and Whole Kitchen. She said she'd read the article, but I told her another follow up one was published online just this morning. Then something happened...her head twitched, and she freaked out (as calmly as possible) by grilling me: what was it about, what did they find, who did they talk to...etc. etc. etc. I told her what I recalled, and that even though it did deterr me from buying their store brand, it wouldn't stop me from getting other things there.

Here's a link to the article...I think Sam Roe rocked it out today, kids.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-112308-allergens-whole-foods-nov23,0,241722.story

which is a follow up to their initial story published this past Friday:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/health/chi-081120-allergens-tribune-investigation,0,506031.story

Both articles help explain why Pumpkin had allergic reactions to 3 out of the last 4 foods that I introduced to her that did not contain nuts in any of the ingredients labeled on the packaging...which is why my husband and I eat a rotation of Tombstone's supreme pizza and Kraft macaroni and cheese blue box...both safe for our dumpling b/c reactions can and do occur regardless of whether she herself eats nuts. If we eat anything with nuts in it and kiss her, she can have a reaction. If we touch nuts and then touch her, she can also have a reaction that leads to...death.

Advice for moms of toddlers!

Word to all mothers of young youngin's:
Fruit-snacks is another word for choking-hazard. No bueno. All teeth present does not equal all food chewed.

Do not administer any snacks of the like until the child can properly say the following consonants and consonant combinations with advanced success:
-"th" not 'I want fuh pony'
-"sh" not 'Can I have my pink sirt
'-"L" not 'fat dog is yehyo'
-"R" not 'I don't want fuh wed one, I want fuh gween one'